Here is a fun little writing exercise: Write your own obituary.
So, I thought, sure, how hard can this be?
Turns out, … pretty damn hard.
I’m not sure what got to me. Listing all my accomplishments, that was alright (albeit not riveting) reading. More like a padded resume, really. I think it was when I tried to inject human heartfelt emotions into the obituary that I ran into problems. Maudlin sentimentality co-mingled with surrealistic science fiction.
“Elena was beloved by people and animals alike. Not only did peasants doff their caps as her carriage rode by, but little birds…
In some ways, I feel like a generic, stodgy old curmudgeon — ahem, … traditionalist. Not just that. Something worse, a cliché-riddled nostalgic traditionalist. Here’s how:
In my perfect world, at least on meal a day would consist of the same meal. For me, it’s either Pasta House salad (a recipe I learned years ago, based on the restaurant’s salad) or a tomato + green onion salad (tomato, chopped green onions, mayonnaise and salt). Like a dog, I do not get tired of eating certain dishes over and over and over.
In my perfect world, every British mystery that takes…
The highest holy day, for Jews, is Yom Kippur. It is the Day of Atonement, also known as part of the Days of Awe (between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur). As we have just entered the New Year of 5782, we are to use the days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur to set things right in our mind and between others. We’re not just supposed to ask for forgiveness for the wrongs we have done, we’re supposed to really own up to it and make amends.
To be clear, this is not the day for us to forgive others…
I love bookmarks. I love bookmarks almost as much as I do books. Some of my favorite bookmarks are magnetic clip-ons, and I have many of those. If I drop the book, the magnetic bookmark stays in place. One set of bookmarks I’m very fond of has pictures of different coffee, such lattes, cappuccinos, espressos, each depicted in the 1920s art Deco style.
I also have bookmarks that I made myself, taking postcards and laminating them. With these postcard bookmarks, I can then use the corresponding city or region with the appropriate book where the action takes place. For instance…
Yom Kippur is coming. For Jews, like me, it means that it is time to apologize, and make amends. We get a week for this — the time between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Not really — we actually have a whole year, like everyone else, but that’s not how human nature works. …
There is a delightful book, written by Rob Walker, called The Art of Noticing: 131 Ways to Spark Creativity, Find Inspiration, and Discover Joy in the Everyday. I will get no royalties from anyone else buying this book. I have no skin in this game, except sharing that I found this book quite inspiring and helpful. Buy the book, check it out from the library, borrow it from a friend — it matters not how you get a hold of it. …
Sometimes I like to think like a criminal, so I do not wind up being a victim.
I like to park my car for easy get-aways, always backing into the space or driving through to the other side of double parking space, so that when I leave, I’m driving forward — not backing out first. It requires a little more planning, and, at times, more patience. Sometimes I have to walk more from my car to events or places, but my mind is more at ease knowing that my exit will be swifter and easier. …
I happen to think that crows, ravens and other birds from the family Corvidae, genus Corvus, (such as rooks) are fantastic birds. To demonstrate my point, I would like to submit a list of several traits that I found fascinating. I hope that you’ll enjoy this random crow trivia. Uhhh, I mean, this helpful information.
1. Research has found that some crow species are capable not only of tool use but also of tool construction. They bend and use twigs and sturdy grass to dig out bugs from dirt crevices, and drop rocks in water to stir up bugs to…
Dear future followers who want me to follow them right back:
I do not mean to disparage anyone … uhhhh, actually, this whole blog is about disparaging a certain segment of people, so I should not lie — I DO mean to disparage them, and let them be forewarned.
Let me restart. I DO mean to discourage a great deal of people who want me to follow them when they really bring nothing to the table. This is not about my existing followers, nor about people I have chosen to follow. As they already know, my existing followers, … well…
As far as marble goes,
let’s build a mausoleum,
with curlicues and other intricate design.
With stained-glass windows,
but no doors — dead need no privacy.
As far as glass,
let’s go for crystal,
there is nothing finer than prisms of rainbows,
reflecting through a Champaign flute
in times of joy or times of sorrow.
As far as fine linen,
Egyptian cotton, please,
as soft as any silk, but breathable and cool.
The finest things in life,
luxuries, all align
with my world view of how everyone should live,
We’d all eat caviar on tiny pointed toasts.
Our laughter louder…