Dear Andi,

Thank you for writing, it is a tough thing, to always live in someone else’s fears.

I usually call myself an undiagnosed paranoid. Ever since our phones were bugged, more than 42 years ago in USSR, as we were immigrating, & my parents explained that strange echo on the phone to me, I have felt watched & spied on. I have trouble eating at events, with other people, like award ceremonies. Even though I know nobody gives a shit about me & have their own issues, I still feel watched & have trouble swallowing my food. My own wedding was a blur that I barely remember — & other than a few sips of champagne I was absolutely sober.

And god forbid a car should follow me for a few blocks in a residential area. I do evasive maneuvers that would make 007 proud. It’d be pretty funny, except that I take it so damn seriously. And I take almost nothing in life seriously!

So yeah, I can kind of relate. 🙋🏻‍♀️

Written by

Writer and storyteller, immigrant, wife, mom, knitter, collector of jokes, lover of cheap, sweet wine.

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