Dear Cris,

I so appreciate your encouragement & support. It’s a relief to know that what we’re going through isn’t unique, that people went through the same pain, anxiety & fear & came out ok on the other side. I’m trying to relax, & just take care of my daughter, and take each day as it comes, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

I had a bit of a meltdown going to the store today. It wasn’t our usual grocery store, but I wanted to get specific zinc recommended to me. So I wound up driving to the YMCA I went to for 14 years, by the library I used to frequent, by my therapist’s office (remembering that she’s retiring this year), & the store is located by a tiny, two-screen independent movie theater. Man, I missed & mourned the life that was so easy & non-lethal — maybe less lethal would be a more correct term. There was an Indian Reataurant/buffet that I frequented from time to time, sometimes alone with a book, sometimes with a friend, that’s still there, and all the memories were just too much.

It actually felt good to cry, let it all out. I’ve been acting brave for my kids & husband, but I’m a coward & it’s tough to act tough for so long. That explains why I got so much: dark chocolate-covered raisins, dark chocolate-covered walnuts & gummy bears. Which is strange, ‘cause I prefer salty goodness of hard salami to sugary snacks.

No matter. The next week, two weeks we’re quarantining ourselves except for getting food delivered, so a few chocolate treats aren’t going to go to waste.

Again, thank you for your support & cheer. I appreciate more than mere words can express.

Written by

Writer and storyteller, immigrant, wife, mom, knitter, collector of jokes, lover of cheap, sweet wine.

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