You’re right. I should put Breather. ‘Cause I am and do. Also Sleeper, though not Agent. Love to sleep, almost obscenely. I do a great deal of blinking, so there’s that: Blinker. Like in a short but overweight car. Also Eater. I almost put Foodie, but the farkakteh millennials took that word & made it into something I am definitively NOT — I do not take pictures of my food before I eat it! (Except in New Zealand, but I took pictures of everything in New Zealand, it didn’t count.)
Let’s see… hmmm, I am a Cusser, Old-at-Heart, a Curmudgeon, a Chocolate Snob, a Worrier (no, I think I spelled that correctly, I worry too much), Impressionist Art Lover, Beatles Lover, Classical Music Lover… but damn my eyes!
I also write. Like every day. Sometimes multiple times a day. Also on Medium. I identify as a Writer. You know, some people identify as homosexual, some as heterosexual, others as writers. It’s a thing, look it up! My whole identity is tied up in this writer schtick. I mean, if I am not a writer what am I? Just a millionaire inventor playgirl, standing in front of the boy, who was not the first one to fall in love with the daughter of the kidnapped scientist, only to loose her to her childhood sweetheart whom she last saw on a deserted island, who then turned out to be the leader of the Resistance, asking him to love her.
That’s all I will ever be. Who the hell do you think you are to tell me what to put in my profile? Are you Joshua, taking over after Moses? I don’t think so. Because all of the above is too fucking long to fit. That’s why WRITER is just the right goddamned size.