I know exactly what you mean. And so does Eric Clapton. He wrote “Tears in Heaven” after his 3-year-old son fell out of the window and died, and when asked, he said that he always found it easier to write out of that place of pain.
Sometimes out of great suffering comes great art. And sometimes not. I mean, I’m no Clapton, & so few people are. Actually, no one else is, just him! On the other hand, there is only one me. Only one you. So there is hope for us yet, yeah?