Dear Katie,

It is a heavy heritage/bond, that of mothers & daughters. I’m an only child, an immigrant & my Mom’s old country upbringing was tough on me, ridiculous on my daughter, since my mother doesn’t know how to be a grandmother, only a mother. I frequently channel my very much-alive mother by thinking “What would my mom say/do?” And then I would say or do the opposite or just keep my mouth shut. So far I’ve never hurt my daughter by shutting the fuck up.

My parents took my daughter to Ireland after high school & she came back with the question, “How is it you never killed your parents?” Shit, I never even rebelled(mine saved my soul by getting me out of USSR, the guilt!). But she did, as an American-born — hence the trip from hell.

Sigh. I wish I had a sister. Or a brother. A sib. I have a tremendous family I made, including a sister-in-law I adore, so I am not bitching too loudly.

But mothers — yeah, Jewish mothers, too, I hear you. I wish I was like Lorelei, talked so fast, could do everything, had this lightness of being. Or had a mom like her. What would that feel like, not to have EVERY moment as a teachable moment of life? I can’t even imagine…

Written by

Writer and storyteller, immigrant, wife, mom, knitter, collector of jokes, lover of cheap, sweet wine.

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