I am so sorry, both for your loss of your friend & for what your family is going through.
As an overweight person, I have the opposite problem when I get depressed — I begin to eat without control. Food loses all meaning, all flavor, all pleasure. It is just a way of trying to kill pain, another drug.
The only way out, for me, is through, with a lot of therapy & help. Because as a Jew, I also come from a culture where we love through food, and because as a former Soviet Union citizen, New Year was the biggest holiday of the year, there is a whole minefield that lies ahead. Oy!
Food SHOULD be as close to natural as possible, nourishing, wholesome as well as beautiful, certainly made slowly & lovingly, not mass produced & then frozen for mass consumption. But food is also fraught with so much emotion, memories, connotations, it’s so individual, that it’s a subject as complicated as we are, each a snowflake. Hell, of it simple, no one would have issues, we’d all be normal weight (& then my mother would have so much free time, she just might solve the Middle East crisis).
I just wanted to reach out & offer my condolences, & tell you to keep on writing. You are not alone, you are in a supportive community of Medium. I just don’t know how to do that in less than 3,000 words! Sorry.😳🙄