Dear Matthew,

I read movie reviews, I love movie spoilers, & I enjoy funny & you sure entertained me. You actually entertained me more than the actual movie would have. Had I seen it.

Jar Jar Binks broke me. Not literally, of course, not a bone in my body. Just my spirit. The dialogue, the mind-numbing, stupid dialogue I can make fun of. Terrible acting is the result of awful writing, ditto — when you’re given shit in a candy wrapper, & you bite into it, only a very, very few can make it look look yummy as they chew with their mouths open. But they were not that good: their acting ranged from wooden to stony. But Jar Jar Binks…I haven’t seen a Star Wars movie since. Nor will I. Ever.

Some day, maybe, (doubtful, but who knows) I may find myself in an elevator with George Lucas. I will corner him & DEMAND my $7 back, knowing that he can never give me back the hour and a half of my life. That is deep my bitterness goes. And I will hold this grudge for the rest of my life.

Written by

Writer and storyteller, immigrant, wife, mom, knitter, collector of jokes, lover of cheap, sweet wine.

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