Dear Mr. Solheim,

Obviously someone who’s been in a relationship for three decades is someone worth listening to for advice about relationships! You have tremendous insight & wisdom about relationships.

It does take a great deal of work & patience, & of course, if the partner or as equally loving & dedicated, it is worth it. Nothing ever stays stationary — not relationships, not the other person & certainly not us, ourselves. I forget, sometimes, I want to capture a fleeing moment, to hold back time … it’s futile.

Your article made me realize that the road is always going to change. There’s nothing wrong with that. To expect it to be different is foolish. To resist is to invite misery. I am not foolish & I don’t want to invite misery. I want to adjust my attitude a bit, take a refresher course.

I think I am going to be consciously kinder to my partner. I am not at all mean to him, but I haven’t gone out of my way to be kinder, either, & he’s one of the nicest people (the Southern American expression is “he’s a peach” or “she’s a peach” because peaches are so sweet & juicy). He certainly is deserving of more kindness.

Thank you for the timely reminder.

Writer and storyteller, immigrant, wife, mom, knitter, collector of jokes, lover of cheap, sweet wine.