Dear Phillip,

As my father says, “That man is smart, he thinks like I do.” Excellent article! Calling bullshit on the desiccated pumpkin full of wasps is one of the pleasures of life. Anything that makes the orange thing unhappy makes me happy!

How is it still alive? Lousy diet, no exercise — it must get its powers from vitriol & bile alone. A friend suggested that it sold its soul to the devil, but that can’t be correct: 1) The devil doesn’t wait that long to collect & B) it never had a soul.

Writer and storyteller, immigrant, wife, mom, knitter, collector of jokes, lover of cheap, sweet wine.