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Graduation speech
As I look out at the sea of this year’s graduating class of 2025, all these bright, shiny faces, so full of hope, so looking forward to cake this evening, well, I can’t help but look back. It seems like only yesterday that you were eating paste, Paul. And Kristy, you showed the boys your underwear every Tuesday and you still won’t tell why it was that particular day.
And the more things change … the more … Mike, stop picking your nose. From day one, I swear …
Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes, enough looking back. I cannot wait to see what great things this year’s graduating class will accomplish. Some of you will become great surgeons, others explorers of outer space. Others will come live out your dreams of becoming firefighters and police officers, of singers and actors. Suzie, I know you will make a great Senator. Mike … you know, the world needs people who work good, dependable jobs, too, there’s no shame in unskilled labor. Community colleges exist for many good reasons. Mike is one of those reasons.
What I’m saying is, after having a couple of glasses of good chardonnay, I wrote a great speech last night. Very inspiring. Very thoughtful. But my new puppy is teething, and she ate my speech. Ha ha ha, yes, my dog ate my homework. You will understand that one better when you actually have to do homework.
Now, that we are here, at this momentous, once in a lifetime occasion, an important milestone in every person’s life — a kindergarten graduation. I want to wish each and every one of you and your parents or guardians good luck. Let’s bring on the cake!
