Oh yeah, I can SO relate. It’s also one of the reasons I’m also writing about my family, my history (not to sound like the world’s biggest narcissist). I’m attempting to hold on to solid smoke. This duality, especially in us, made us who we are. We are “escapees” (“survivors”?) from the Soviet regime, having one foot in each world, yet knowing that one of those worlds doesn’t exist any more. But it doesn’t make any less real. And no less surreal. Ach! You KNOW what I mean!