Story 33 of 100
The tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
I cannot believe I still work for minimum wage. It is disgraceful. Santa Claus doesn’t. The Easter Bunny doesn’t No one else does — but I do. I get no respect, do not get me started! Too late, you got me started.
I come from a long line of Tooth Fairies. Like a loooong line — before Christianity, long before Judaism, before there was Buddha, there were us Tooth Fairies. My great-great-great … well, you get the idea … took teeth of Neanderthal children, in times of pre-history, under their rocks as they slept. We took the teeth of hunters’ and gatherers’ children. We took the teeth of children in the Dark Ages (practically for free), the Renaissance, and the Industrial Revolution, in the Jazz Age and the Great Depression — there, we took also took a huge pay cut.
But now, in the times of so-called prosperity? Punxsutawney Phil lives in the lap of luxury, just him and the missus. You ever wonder how a rodent got that size? The food! Everything sautéed and fried, buttered and sauced. What do the Tooth Fairies eat? You’re lucky if you find one of us who’s a vegetarian! Most of us are vegans by necessity — we scrimp on berries and mushrooms, all raw this and naked salad that! Now our life expectancy is barely a century! We used to live so long we’d actually meet our…
