“OK, Mr. Savings & Loan officer, hear me out. I know that money can’t buy me happiness. I totally get that on every level. True happiness comes from good health, and no amount of money can buy you that — I mean, other than being able to afford good nutrition and a good personal trainer. But what I propose is that you give me — no, of course not give — loan me, a little slip of the tongue there, is the money for a good life for a limited amount of time.
“I would like to live large — I would like to rent a yacht, drink expensive champagne — not sparkling Moscato, but real stuff from the French region, and rub elbows with that one percent, travel first class, eat foie gras and Beluga caviar. And then I will repay that loan, just like that. I assume you have a reasonable repayment plan, and you are a reasonable fellow, yes?
“What I propose, simply, is to rent happiness — not buy it — for a few wonderful, fleeting weeks, to live that dream that we all dream of. For a short time, for as long as the money lasts, I would like to live without the limitations the lack of money puts on people like me. You get it. People like us — people who work in cubicles in accounting firms.
“I don’t want to become a criminal. I have ethics. I don’t want to live beyond my means. I was raised right. I want to borrow a set amount — the amount requested right here, spend it, and then spend a certain reasonable amount of time paying it off.
“What do ya say?”
“Get the fuck out of my office.”