Story 34 of 100

Elena Tucker
2 min readMar 21, 2023
Photo by 金 运 on Unsplash

The Ask.

“OK, Mr. Savings & Loan officer, hear me out. I know that money can’t buy me happiness. I totally get that on every level. True happiness comes from good health, and no amount of money can buy you that — I mean, other than being able to afford good nutrition and a good personal trainer. But what I propose is that you give me — no, of course not give — loan me, a little slip of the tongue there, is the money for a good life for a limited amount of time.

“I would like to live large — I would like to rent a yacht, drink expensive champagne — not sparkling Moscato, but real stuff from the French region, and rub elbows with that one percent, travel first class, eat foie gras and Beluga caviar. And then I will repay that loan, just like that. I assume you have a reasonable repayment plan, and you are a reasonable fellow, yes?

“What I propose, simply, is to rent happiness — not buy it — for a few wonderful, fleeting weeks, to live that dream that we all dream of. For a short time, for as long as the money lasts, I would like to live without the limitations the lack of money puts on people like me. You get it. People like us — people who work in cubicles in accounting firms.

“I don’t want to become a criminal. I have ethics. I don’t want to live beyond my means. I was raised right. I want to borrow a set amount — the amount requested right here, spend it, and then spend a certain reasonable amount of time paying it off.

“What do ya say?”

“Get the fuck out of my office.”



Elena Tucker

Writer and storyteller, immigrant, wife, mom, knitter, collector of jokes, lover of cheap, sweet wine.