The three little pigs — reimagined.

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Big Bad Wolf from Walt Disney’s Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little brother pigs, called Nuff-nuff, Niff-niff and Naff-naff, who lived near each other.

A hungry wolf came upon the first pig’s house, the youngest brother, Naff-naff, whose house was made of straw. Smelling delicious pork, he yelled out to him, “Oh, piggy, come on out, I am mighty hungry and I want to eat you.”

Obviously hearing what the wolf had in mind for him, Naff-naff stayed put.

The wolf tried again, “Come out, come out, or I will huff, and I will puff, and I will blow your house down!”

The little pig shook with fear, but refused to come out. So the wolf huffed, and puffed and blew his little straw house down. Luckily, while the wolf was getting his breath back, Naff-naff managed to run away, to his older brother’s house. This was Niff-niff’s house, and it was made out of strong sticks.

The wolf ran after him, but didn’t catch him. However, now he could smell two piggies, so he loudly announced his intentions.

“Say, pigs, make it easy on me, would you? Come on out and let me eat you both.”

Naturally, the pigs did no such thing. The wolf yelled at them, “Come out, or I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house down!”

When no pig made an appearance, this wolf was as good as his word. He huffed and he puffed and he blew the house made of sticks down. However, both pigs got away because he didn’t know which pig to go after first, and they ran ziggedy-zag to their big brother’s house.

Nuff-nuff lived in the biggest house of them all, by far, because it was made of brick and mortar. The two brothers barely had time to run in and barricade the door behind them, when the wolf came around.

The wolf was getting a little tired by now, but his mouth was watering from the delectable smell of pork, so he wasn’t going to give up.

“Come out, all of you sweet little pigs, and I promise to eat you all quickly,” the wolf yelled. But at this point, the pigs were barricaded in the built-in panic room, and they had no intentions of making it easy for the hungry, rude wolf.

So the wolf huffed and he puffed, and he blew until he was blue in the face, but the well-made house would not be blown away. The wolf had no choice but to go away, still hungry.

Now the wolf knew he couldn’t overpower the three little pigs, but he was far too invested in eating them, so he decided on another approach. He noticed that Nuff-nuff’s house was very lovely, with a small garden on the side, and well-kept lawn and freshly painted roof. So, the next day, he got a clipboard, then put on a long blond wig, a sportscoat and small glasses with round tortoise-shell frames. He approached the house, taking pictures and writing little notes on his clipboard. The pigs were extremely curious to what was going on, but still cautious. When the wolf knocked politely on their door, Nuff-nuff, cracked it open, still keeping the chain on.

“Yes, may I help you?” he asked the disguised wolf.

“I hope so,” said the wolf in high falsetto voice. “I’m from the Architectural Pig Digest, and we’re doing a story on the best pig houses in the area. I passed a pathetic pile of straw, and a crummy pile of sticks, but when I came to this house, I just knew we have to have this gorgeous structure in our next edition of APD. Simply stunning, such curb appeal. I got some great shots of the garden. May I take some pictures inside, please?”

Nuff-nuff, being very proud of his sturdy little wolf-proof house, puffed up with pride and invited the wolf to come inside.

The moral to our story: You can catch more pigs with flattery than you can by huffing and puffing.

Written by

Writer and storyteller, immigrant, wife, mom, knitter, collector of jokes, lover of cheap, sweet wine.

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